Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Oh Man, The West is Being Put to the Test

Iranian women attend the international cartoon contest on the Holocaust in Tehran. An international contest of cartoons on the Holocaust opened in Tehran today in response to the publication in Western papers last September of caricatures of the Prophet Mohammed. "We staged this fair to explore the limits of freedom Westerners believe in," Masoud Shojai, head of the country's "Iran Cartoon" association and the fair organizer, said.(AFP/Behrouz Mehri)

Oh man, we're being tested. Now look everyone, get the word out: THERE ARE TO BE NO RIOTS OVER THESE CARTOONS! I mean it. Those of you who were planning riots are just going to have to cowboy-up and fight the urge. OK? Take a pill or something but cancel any planned riots now. Just do it for your country. Please.

And don't think America is blind to your pain. Lady Liberty knows what you're going through. She knows your outrage, your pain. And believe me, she knows, and God knows, that you deserve to vent your rage. But this is not a time for venting. Sure, normally we'd all be killing people by now. Let's be honest; we all do it. Why, Chuck Norris has killed 7 cartoonists and a dog groomer already this year. But Chuck knows we're being watched and he says he'll leave the nunchucks at home if I do the same with my axes and chainsaws. Know what I said to that? "you betcha, buddy."

OK, so join Chuck and I in not rampaging over these cartoons. We're trying to set up an 800 number for those of you who need someone to talk to. Let's all pull together and we can get through this thing.


Good news people. The campaign is only hours old and already reports of not rioting are coming in from all over the country. Let's hope this Unriot continues to grow.

Call me a crazy optimist but I think we might just pass this test.

*** Update II:
It's now confirmed; not rioting has broken out in Key West. Don't believe me? Too good to be true? Well, there's proof.