Tuesday, August 15, 2006

We All Should Be on the Sheehan Fast

I haven't quite figured out how you can get dehydrated on a liquid diet but the always newsworthy Cindy Sheehan pulled it off. Of course there was a week there when her picture wasn't on the front page so I suppose she may have cut out liquid too, just to stir things up. And I, along with everyone else, will just ignore her claim that she was tricked off the "fast" by al-Maliki a week ago.

Anyway, poor, poor Cindy may have the right idea, as a quick glance at Yahoo News' most popular stories shows that:

1) Hot dogs may mutate your DNA and give you cancer.

2)An occasional cup of coffee might trigger first heart attacks in some people.
I guess if you've already had one heart attack it's ok to drink coffee though. No word on what hot dogs will do if you've already had your first mutated DNA. Personally, I've let my DNA go over the years and some mutation may be desirable.

Anyway, isn't mutated DNA the heart and soul of evolution? If so, it will be us hot dog eaters on the cutting edge of the next and best human model. And the people who listen to chicken-little doctors will be stuck with their standard issue bodies while I and my cronies are levitating, and downing birds on the wing with the power of our minds alone. And I'm sure we'll constantly be showing off our powers just to make regular folks feel inferior. We'll pretty much be insufferable, I bet. Just like Cindy. Woo-hoo, I brought the post back around to Cindy. Poor poor Cindy. It always comes back to Cindy.


Unknown said...

That reminds me, I need my afternoon cup of coffee.

lumberjack said...

I'll be stirring in the aspartame with a Ball Park Frank.