Analyze This

I'm pleased to see an AP writer reminding us of Saddam's support of terror in the middle east. Of course the Palestinians will miss him. He made many families rich with his $25,000 rewards for suicide/murder bombings. Just throw away a son or daughter and you're on easy street. But what grabbed my attention was a quote from a man in a refugee camp:

Saddam's downfall — his defeat by America, his capture in a filthy hole, his conviction and his execution — dismayed Palestinians. They lionized the former Iraqi leader and praised his willingness to stand up to America and Israel when other Arab leaders would not.

"Saddam was a person who had the ability to say, 'No,' in the face of a great country," said Hosni al Ejel, 46, from the al Amari refugee camp near Ramallah.

Remember the Billy Crystal movie Analyze This?

Dr. Ben Sobel: You don't hear the word "no" a lot, do you?
Boss Paul Vitti: Well, I hear it all the time, only it's more like "no, please, no!"

Don't Tell Me Where We're Going With This

I know where we're going with this..



It's just a matter of time.

Saddam's Execution

Sure, it's interesting to see who is upset over the execution of Saddam. But the net-crazies were with us before the execution and they will be here long after. They'll keep finding proof that secret organizations control the government, that we engineered 9-11, that their neighbor's dog is trying to control their mind with thought rays... It goes on and on. And they've become uninteresting. Ultimately this was an Iraqi solution to an Iraqi problem. And I'm glad that, after years of oppression under the heel of this dictator, the Iraqi people were able to bring him to justice. I'll defer to Iraqi sentiments on the matter, from Iraq the Model:

Executing Saddam is an execution to a dark era in Iraq's history and it's a message to all those who followed his ways that there is no turning back; yes, the people will never kneel to a tyrant again and will never give up.
The future is in the hands of the people and they will choose their way no matter how big the sacrifice is.
We have suffered too much for too long and we deserve a better life and that we will keep pursuing.

Saddam

From a Yahoo page of quotes during his trial:

"I'm Saddam Hussein, president of Iraq.
I am above all." — May 22.

Well, yeah, now.

Drudge Headline

The headline is sometimes all you need:

Woman Charged With Malicious Castration -- during a Christmas party!...

So, of course, my first thought is.... was anyone ever charged with benevolent castration? And close on it's heels, thought two... what does the Christmas party have to do with it? Like you're reading along, la-la-la, hmmm, Saddam to Hang, la-la, Snow in Denver, yadda-yadda-yadda, Woman Charged With Malicious Castration, dum-de-diddle, Polar Bears, who cares, what???? What was that? -- during a Christmas party!??? Oh, well that's different then, that's beyond the pale, no sir, not at a Christmas party you don't.

Like, if it had been at a Tupperware party, that would have been ok.

Who is Joseph Rago Anyway?

And who whizzed in his cornflakes?

The Blog Mob
"Written by fools to be read by imbeciles."

......Every conceivable belief is on the scene, but the collective prose, by and large, is homogeneous: A tone of careless informality prevails; posts oscillate between the uselessly brief and the uselessly logorrheic; complexity and complication are eschewed; the humor is cringe-making, with irony present only in its conspicuous absence; arguments are solipsistic; writers traffic more in pronouncement than persuasion . . .

"by and large, homogeneous"?

I think we can all agree this is false.

"careless informality prevails"?

I have to admit the term 'asshat' has always come across as a tad familiar. So, though I don't think I've ever used the term, in the interest of formality, I'm prepared to label Joe Rago: Mr. Asshat.

"uselessly brief"?

touché

"uselessly logorrheic"?

huh?

"irony present only in its conspicuous absence"?

.

JR Salzman

I got to Lumberjack in a Desert via Mudville Gazette, which passed on this ungood news:

it is hard for me to tell you all this but i was hurt by an ied here. my right arm has been amputated below the elbow, my left has four working fingers. my legs are fine so l can still logroll! i am on my way to the hospital in germany, then back to the states for more care. i am in high spirits. i am going to be ok, but i will have a long road to recovery. please remember me in your prayers, as well as those who were injured with me. i will let you know more as time passes.

~ J.R. SALZMAN

What a way to find out there are other blogging lumberjacks (technically: blumberjacks, or, in my case, blogging faux lumberjacks, or bloflumberjacks) out there. Don't know why I never googled "lumberjacks," though a fair amount of traffic gets here by way of searches. Anyway, I wish I'd found Lumberjack in a Desert under different circumstances. I'm wishing JR Salzman the best of luck in his recovery. He's in our prayers.

Lone Ranger

Misleading Photo

Much has been made of a single photo showing John Kerry eating alone on his recent trip to Iraq. Later photos show that the senator did have table mates at one point in the meal. It also should be pointed out that most of the senator's friends in Iraq are not allowed in the Green Zone. This made it hard for him to coordinate meetings, lunches, etc.

Reincarnation?

So they found Ram Bahaudr Bomjon, believed to be a reincarnation of Lord Buddha, after he disappeared for six weeks. I'm not one to burst bubbles but I'm thinking this is a reincarnation of a different kind...

Jimmy Carter

James Taranto points to an article by Shmuley Boteach that sums up what I've always suspected about Jimmy Carter:

The real explanation behind his limitless hostility to Israel is a total lack of any moral understanding.

Carter wants to do what's just. His heart's in the right place. He just can't figure out what the right is. He is, and always has been, a man of good intentions bereft of good judgment. He invariably finds himself defending tyrants and dictators at the expense of their oppressed peoples. Not because he is a bad man, but because he is a confused man.

I've always been impressed with Jimma's sincerity. Too bad it's wed to his poor judgment.

On The Good Foot..

James, get upa, get on up, Brown RIP. He had some rough times, but he got right. Therefore the seperated at birth photo:



He'll be missed.

I'm Off, But You Knew That

So the drive-around Christmas begins. The Scandinavians among us will open presents tonight and, well, and tomorrow morning too, just to accommodate those who married Scandinavians. Win-win situation. Thanks to everyone for the good thoughts and good wishes. Merry Christmas, and Happy Chanukah to you all.

Merry and Bright

I know that saying Merry Christmas offends some people, and really, we're all about uniting here, not dividing, so let me just say: May you have a wonderful and joyous celebration of the birthday of Jesus Christ, who's present to you is his love and a reprieve from an eternity by the lake of fire. And also, may all of your presents be cool.

And a PS to those who take offense - Don't let the screen door hit you in the ass on your way down to the fiery pit.

OK just kidding.

I don't really care if it hits you in the ass.

Relativity

Makes you feel small in comparison.
***Update: Tweaked video and changed the music to a chant -The Body of Christ (A.Bessarabov), performed by the Monks and Choirs of Kiev Pechersk Lavra. Available from:
http://magnatune.com/artists/albums/monks-orthodox/


(and if you really like chants, and who doesn't? write me at endangeredowl ... I've got a few free downloads - first come, blah, blah, blah)

OK, One Last Sign

Worth a Thousand Words

Michelle Malkin has a post on new Sandy Burglar information:

Former national security adviser Sandy Berger removed classified documents from the National Archives in 2003 and hid them under a construction trailer, the Archives inspector general reported Wednesday.

Man. The 9-11 commission is trying to find out what went wrong and Sandy Berger is stealing government documents that would expose the very failings that the commission is looking for. And no, I don't believe Berger when he asserts that there were other copies of what he destroyed.

Ah well. It gives me an excuse to post my favorite photo of the Berger and friends.
Don't remember where I got this one. Probably Jawa Report or Gates of Vienna. Worth a Thousand Words? You bet.

Not Britney (this time)

Know what I thought when I saw the headline?:

Baby is sent through X-ray machine at LAX
A woman places her month-old grandson in a bin for carry-on items. Doctors later determine he did not get a dangerous dose of radiation.

I thought, no, not another Britney Spears story.

Advertising

She thought she was protesting the "oppressive protection" forced on South Korea by the United States. In a cruel joke, however, someone gave her a sign advertising First Kiss Ichiban Ramen.

Promote Yourself

The problem with Cindy Buttons... she could never bear to part with one. "Then I won't have it anymore," she realized.

Another Sign

Watch Your Children - Rosie O'Donnell Has Her Fork Out

Good News Bad News

We all have heard about Darfur. Situation bad, getting worse. It's even spread to Chad. So, not good. Anyway I had heard about the UN sending 183 experts to the region, woo-hoo, that ought to solve the problem. And South Africa is trying to help.

So anyway, surfing around, I was surprised to find some good news:

Yesterday, a newly passed UN resolution says Khartoum must halt atrocities by Arab militias in the western Darfur region within 30 days.

Then.... darnit, I read the date:

Saturday, July 31, 2004

Well, these things take time.

Person of the Year

Signs of Our Times

From that Breitbart story on gender neutral signs:



And again, because it was easy, I Reutered it:

Caution Sharia Ahead - No Hand Holding

Another

Never Even Hint That The Dress Makes Her Look Fat

Again

Give It Time - One of Them is Bound to Notice You

And...

And if They Ignore You, You Can Look Up Their Dresses

and...

Attention Europe - Attention David Duke - They Didn't Put Themselves There

it goes on...

Caution - Muslims Preparing to be Enraged


Caution - Whoops, Now You've Done It

just one more...

Caution Rich White Kids - Avoid Mike Nifong

Caution - Barking Dogs Will Be Pixelated

Nifong the Clown

Mike Nifong is part clown - the other part of him, well, that's clown too.

Watching this whole Duke lacrosse mummery, which just gets worse and worse, I have to wonder why Nifong keeps on. Couldn't he have said months ago that upon further consideration, in light of new evidence, etc. he has decided to drop the charges? His case is in tatters. He won the election. But still he goes on, looking like an idiot to every person in the country outside of the Nifong family. Can being on the national stage be that intoxicating? Even when you're the Borat of the legal community?

I'm as much a lawyer as I am a lumberjack, but it seems to me he could be disbarred for stuff like this:

Meehan [the DNA lab director] testified that he and Nifong had decided to withhold certain results of the DNA tests in order to protect the privacy of the Duke lacrosse players who had submitted samples. Asked by a defense attorney how lab results clearing all 46 players would violate their privacy, Meehan fumbled for an answer as Nifong sat with his head lowered, staring at documents.

Under persistent defense prodding, Meehan conceded that his lab's DNA tests cleared the three defendants -- as well as 43 other lacrosse players -- "with 100 percent scientific certainty," as one lawyer put it during questioning.

***Update: Because it was easy to do....

Omar Abdel-Rahman

So Sheik Omar Abdel-Rahman was treated in Missouri for bleeding.Fox reports:

In 2004, Abdel-Rahman tried to sabotage his health, consuming M&Ms to exacerbate his diabetes.

Right? So he was trying to damage himself in order to blame it on his captors- captors who are only holding him because he wants to blow up their buildings and kill their people. Sick old guy, in many ways.

Miss USA

The headline said "Miss USA's 'personal issues' scrutinized.

I didn't read the article, because, well duh, of course they are.

Christmas Spirit

Here's the Lumber Camp Rudolph again. Once again, the neighbors shamed me into putting him out. They always do such a good job, and I want to follow suit... but, well, look at him. I used a flash so you can't tell so much that half the lights are burned out. In fact, it takes a pretty good imagination to stand at the street and say, "reindeer, yes, I think it's a reindeer." Guessing "turtle" or "angel" or "umbrella" could also be considered more right than wrong. The lights will go out by ones and twos until, at the end of the season, it will be, "Look mommy, a Christmas bug."


And here's the deer team that mocks my infirm Rudolph. They're blurred because they move.... one turns his head to look to the reindeer behind him, one nibbles the grass, one hops back and forth, rarin' to go. The Santa scratches his head and searches for a yard "less close to that moth-eaten travesty next door."

Slippery Slope

Jack the snuffer:

Russ Marlan, a spokesman for Michigan's prison system, said Kevorkian acknowledged he had broken the law during a flamboyant eight-year campaign to legalize assisted suicide.

"He said that anything that would bring him back to prison, he will avoid. He said prison is no place to live," Marlan said.

Remember when he got sent away? I was amazed each time he taunted the courts... he was just asking for it. And I was so pleased when they locked him up.

I understand both points of view on the question of euthanasia. I've seen loved ones die in pain and I have sympathy for anyone who has been in that situation. But what decided me against euthanasia laws was a doctor from the Netherlands I heard on the radio. He was campaigning against euthanasia laws, whereas a few years earlier he had been a big campaigner in favor of them. What happened to change his mind was an incident where another doctor euthanized one of his patients over the weekend without even contacting him to get his approval. The law allowed for this even though the patient was capable of recovering. (and would have recovered in the opinion of the primary physician) This was chilling. Even more so when the interviewed doctor gave the reason for the incident: to free up more beds.

What Will Rosie Say?

"Sen. Tim Johnson of South Dakota was in critical but stable condition Thursday after late-night emergency brain surgery"

How long before the crazies accuse the R.'s of having done this to him somehow?

***Update: Well of course, it took them no time at all. Next: Should bad things happen (and I don't wish them to) but, should they happen and the Governor has to appoint a new senator... how long before they try to retroactively change the law?

David Duke Explains

You've heard of mass suicide right? I think
that might be what we have here....

Oh My

From the Palm Beach Post:

Officer Delicious, aka West Palm Beach police officer Terry Golden, stands at Okeechobee Boulevard and Jog Road on Wednesday morning as he watches for cars running red lights and alerts nearby fellow officers. "Sure I could do the same thing in my street clothes, but have you ever felt silk against your skin? Or fishnet stockings? Women don't let on how good it feels to dress up like this. Really, in a word: marvelous," said officer Golden.

OK he didn't say that; I did. And now I can't drive in Palm Beach.

Babies

Report from Ukraine:

Healthy new-born babies may have been killed in Ukraine to feed a flourishing international trade in stem cells, evidence obtained by the BBC suggests.

You can follow the link, but really, I suggest skipping it. Why post it at all? Well, just to point out that there is a slippery slope. And I say we stay off it. There is no "can't happen here" here.

Flack Jackets in Texas

Yikes, big fun in Texas:

AUSTIN, Texas (Reuters) - A Texas lawmaker is aiming to allow the blind to hunt. Texas State Representative Edmund Kuempel has introduced a measure that would allow blind people to hunt any game that sighted people can currently pursue.

"This opens up the fun of hunting to additional people, and I think that's great," Kuempel told Reuters.

It sounds to me like lots more fun than the usual fun of hunting. The bill requires that the blind person have a sighted companion along for the ride. As a witness for the subsequent lawsuits? Nah, so that someone can answer, "What'd I hit this time?" I mean, come on, sighted hunters have been known to shoot cows, dogs, refrigerators, other hunters.... Why not amend the bill to require that everyone in the hunting party be drunk? That sounds like the recipe for big hunting fun.

Rosie, the Gormless Popinjay

No, really, the woman has no gorm at all.

Monkey

Orphaned squirrel monkey Loki clings to his toy duck at Taronga Zoo in Sydney, Australia, in this Jan. 19, 2006, file photo. Loki, who lost his mother shortly after birth eight weeks ago, has been hand raised by zoo staff....

Look at those eyes. File this one under 'cute'. And don't get all heart-stung-pulled about the little pup being orphaned - remember, it's an AP story, so the monkey is probably a stuffed toy too.

Tears, and more tears

I'll tell you what, the news has been tearing at my heart lately. Poor Eric Rudolph, who accidentally set off bombs at the olympics and various clinics, says:

"Supermax is designed to inflict as much misery and pain as is constitutionally permissible,"

As if the plight of the poor, poor walking/flying Imams wasn't enough...

Still Wondering

So... Couldn't the AP shut down all the speculation by just producing (Capt.) Jamil Hussein? "We talked with people in the neighborhood," is how you prove there is an urban legend; it's not how you prove it true or false. Still there are no names of any of the six "burned Sunnis". No graves. No pictures. And the real police never got called on it.

So why not produce Jamil Hussein, the source of the six-burned-Sunnis story? Either that, or start reporting on guys getting drugged, kidney robbed, and waking up in a bathtub full of ice with a note... or that Jamaican vacation-toothbrush-picture story..... (ewww)

Foolish Man

>

An Italian fathers' rights activist says he tried unsuccessfully to self-immolate on live television to call attention to dads unable to see their kids.

OK, this was a cry for help.... But I also don't think it was gasoline he poured down his front. As anyone who has gotten gasoline on his testadingadangleaderos can tell you, this guy wasn't hopping around and whimpering enough for it to have been gasoline. It burns.

An errant splash of gasoline got me back in the early 80's, and my eyes didn't stop watering until Bill Clinton was halfway through his second term.

Hence the Smile

Victory for Me...

Drudge quotes Frank Rich NY(pa-tuee!)T as saying, "we have lost in Iraq," and "The Iraq-Vietnam parallels at this juncture are striking."

Well yeah Frank. The parallels are: 1) the conflict hinging on the will of the American people, and 2) the press lying to the American people in a conscious effort to break that will.

Regardless, you can wipe the smile off your face Frank. You're pronouncement is the wishful thinking of a despicable man.

Merry Christmas

Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy:

Crucified Santa gains few fans for B.C. artist

METCHOSIN, B.C. (CP) — A Vancouver Island artist has put an effigy of a crucified Santa Claus on his front lawn, causing some neighbours to complain it’s traumatizing their children.

Jimmy Wright said the figure is intended to be a comment on society’s growing appetite for consumer goods.

"I don’t know how it came into my mind but I thought I’m going to take Santa Claus and I’m going to crucify him."

Don't know how it came into his mind? Come on, google 'crucify' and 'santa' and you'll see it's come into 93 thousand minds, many more than that, of course. It's just that most people don't want to offend their neighbors. What Jimmy wanted to imply is that he has a complex and artistic mind, but really, taking two symbols of the season and putting them together, how creative is that? Do something really creative Jimmy. Creative minds put cheese into aerosol cans. Creative minds make documents platform independent. Hackneyed minds attach store bought Santas to sticks.

Obvious Misuse

The headline says it all:

Oversized condoms a headache for many Indian men

OK, I can imagine (only) why oversized condoms could be a problem, but if they're giving these men headaches, then the overlarge devices are being misused in a way that's hugely perplexing.

Waiting For Jamil

Michelle Malkin is asking where the AP source Jamil Hussein has gotten to. Good question. He's the source for the AP's six-Sunis-burning line in the Twelve Days of Christmas song. Seems like the AP could produce him and clear up everything.

No, Not Bitter At All, Why Do You Ask?

Nancy Pelosi and Germaine Greer walk the streets during a traditional 'Krampus run' in the Austrian village of Gresten in this December 2, 2006 file photo. In folklore, Krampus was a devil-like figure who drove away evil spirits during the Christian holiday season and traditionally, he appeared alongside Santa around December 6, the feast of St. Nicholas.....

Bonk! Bonk! On the head!

"No, really, there's a zebra right behind you. Oh, look! And baby ducks too!"

Global Warming

Anyone who thinks religion is waning in the West should consider the Global-warmists. You don't even need to read the articles anymore, they're all the same: 1.) the temperatures are rising, which has never happened before, 2.) people, and more specifically, American people, are to blame, and 3.) This will kill us all in this particularly horrible way.

The "this" changes, but other than that the articles are all the same. And most of them, since the early 90's, have thrown in that "the science is now settled". Anyway, I just ran across this:

"I had another interesting experience around the time my paper in Science was published. I received an astonishing email from a major researcher in the area of climate change. He said, "We have to get rid of the Medieval Warm Period."

And what struck me was the first image that came to mind: the e-mailer was a church elder, urging a scholar to skirt information damaging to their, assumed shared, dogma.

Har

From the Corner:

For Heisenberg's birthday, I thought (although I was not sure) that you would enjoy my favorite Heisenberg joke: Werner Heisenberg, out for a drive, is stopped for speeding by a policeman. 'Do you know how fast you were going?!,' yells the irate cop. 'No,' replies Heisenberg, 'but I know exactly where I am.'"

They think Heisenberg's birthday was yesterday... but can anyone really know that?

I Figured It Out

Of course, the answer has been staring us in the face the whole time. It was a communications problem that grounded the six anguished Imams. Now that we've heard their complaints, it's clear: it wasn't their weight that required them to use seat belt extenders, it was their emotional development that required them to use child safety seats. They just got the words wrong.

Hero Dog

Not to throw cold water on a warm story but... you know the dog that tunneled through the snow to save his 81 year-old owners? He couldn't work the doorknob by himself.

Could have been, "Come on, bark, I'm getting cold, bark, bark, you can go back outside if you want, bark, just open the door for me, bark, I'm freezing my, bark, off, bark, bark, bark"

We Have Other Demands as Well

Poor, poor, poor Muslims at CAIR, as if they don't have enough suffering (sniff) on their plate, now must be distracted from their airplane misery in order to deal with very serious swearing-in anguish:

An Islamic group is demanding that a conservative talk show host and columnist, Dennis Prager, be ousted from the U.S. Holocaust Memorial Council because of his statement that a Muslim just elected to Congress should be required to be sworn in using a Bible, not a Koran.

Someone tell me how these men get up day after day, knowing they will have nothing but torment from sunup to sundown? Still, shouldn't they be sure that they believe there was a holocaust, before they meddle with the memorial? "We'll be damned if he gets to work on the memorial for what may, or may not, have happened."

These are very much like the trials of someone who may, or may not, be Job.

***Update:

DEARBORN -- Fitness USA, a gym chain, is investigating an alleged civil rights violation involving a local Muslim woman who says her afternoon prayer was interrupted by a fellow patron, and that her complaint to management about the situation was rejected.

I'll tell you what, I'm approaching empathy overload.

Flight Club

Flight Club : Being Naughty on a Plane


And the first rule of flight club is... I forget. What was the first rule again?


via flopping aces

Revealing X-Ray?

This new full-body x-ray machine has some people a little nervous. Me, I'm not so concerned. I always get shuttled to the pat-down lane, and let me tell you, that can get a little personal. Not that I'm complaining, and I have to say, the screeners are always as respectful as it's possible to be. But even so, I'd welcome the risqué x-ray.

Here's an idea, feed the live video to a jumbotron TV in the main terminal. OK, or maybe not.

The Walking Imams

Sarwat Husain (president of the Council on American Islamic Relations-San Antonio) says:

"One ignorant passenger got nervous and passed a note to one of the crew members, accusing the imams of something they did not do or say, only because he had watched the imams praying."

It's simple. People know and can recognize aggressive eye contact. They recognize scowls.

And here's a thought: how is it that of the three hundred people on the plane, not one passenger has come forward to say, "wait a minute, the Imams were minding their own business,"? Was it a plane filled completely with ignorant bigots? And again, one witness said, "I travel to Turkey frequently and know many Muslims personally. The behavior of the group in the gate area was atypical for my experience w/ Muslims, incl among other things, aggressive eye contact in response to mine."

Nah, the passengers did the right thing. I'm sure those who did come forward with their concerns did so with great reluctance. Nobody wanted a confrontation, well, except for the Imams. The walking-imams.