Thursday, February 22, 2007

It Never Ends

Fever claim on global warming:

GLOBAL warming will take a toll on children's health, according to a new report showing hospital admissions for fever soar as days get hotter.
The new study found that temperature rises had a significant impact on the number of pre-schoolers presenting to emergency departments for fever and gastroenteritis.

The two-year study at a major children's hospital showed that for every five-degree rise in temperature two more children under six years old were admitted with fever to that hospital.
Good Lord this is turning into a gigantic IQ test and the world has gone Lohan. What the hell can this data mean except that children's illnesses are seasonal? Next up: as the temperature goes up, more people wash their cars, thus draining water reserves and threatening to send us into an out-of-control spiral. If we don't do something about GLOBAL warming now, our grandchildren won't be able to flush their toilets.

It'd be funny, except that right now some new climatologist is crunching numbers in an attempt to prove that since ski trips and Christmas presents are infrequent in July, we'll soon have no vacations and our kids will have to buy their own Barbies. Can you imagine? our kids working in sweat (SWEAT!) shops because evil George wouldn't stop nature.


Stone said...

"gone Lohan." HA! LumberJACKED, sweetheart!!

Why are we even trying to fight the Lohanization of gullible Americans when we could capitalize on it? How about "Lumberjack brand localized cooling devices?" That is - an ice cube and a solar powered fan...

PGP said...

I would have though that people who grew up watching Sesame street would have learned a thing or two about simple logic!

Sing along now..."One of these things is Not Like the other"
"one of these things just doesn't belong!"

This is to THIS as That is to THAT !

lumberjack said...

I'll tell you what, sometimes I despair the species. Us, not the snail darter. Well, the snail darter too - I understand they're delicious.

OregonGuy said...

Hey...I have few readers, and none that I know read your blog even though I have your site linked on my front page.

Those who link together, link together.

I do believe that active stimulation of the pineal gland can help learning. Consequently, I've set up an ad hoc schedule of blogging where I'm taking up the issues of logical fallacies, personal relationships to ethical standards, and declarations of error on a regular basis.

While having fun.

So I offer you a lesson on argument. Take a look

One day at a time.

PGP said...

Please send money to help raise funds for fund raising to support studies of studying!
Or your children will die many horrible deaths!